


too busy missing You (but you're not missing me)

by listenup_folks



Category: fifth harmony - Fandom
Genre: Angst, F/F, So trigger warning for bullying just in case, Some bullying, possibly two shot??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-03
Updated: 2016-12-03
Packaged: 2018-09-06 04:07:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 15,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8734324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/listenup_folks/pseuds/listenup_folks
Summary: All she knows is that Lauren Jauregui is in a coma and her heart is breaking more every day she doesn't wake up.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Wattpad : longerr_hours

"Oh, hello darling, I didn't know Lauren was going to have any visitors today." The lady Camila presumes to be Lauren's mother speaks and she internally scolds herself for deciding to do this. "I don't think we've met, I'm Clara, Lauren's mother. Are you friends from school?"

"Yeah umm something like that, she's in my history class... I'm Camila by the way I just was wondering how she was doing after I heard about everything and I figured the best way to find out was by visiting." she replies to Mrs. Jauregui in a quiet voice, still not entirely sure what possessed her to come. 

Well that's a lie, she knows exactly why she decided to come. It's one thing to see all of Lauren's friends giving up on her after only a week or two, but seeing Lauren's boyfriend swapping spit in the back corner of the library with one of Lauren's best friends? That was where Camila decided to step in. 

She really wanted to punch him. Camila is not a violent person, never has been. Really it's surprising that this is the first time she's wanted to punch Luis too since he has always been such a dick, but something inside of her snapped at that point and she wanted to punch him. She didn't of course, she simply watched jaw slack for a moment then clenched it in anger and left the library before anyone could notice her presence.

She isn't going to confront any of them on her own, she's just going to give Lauren the support someone needs to get through something like this.

"Well dear Lauren still isn't really giving any signs unfortunately but we're being optimistic," Clara says with a sad smile on her face and Camila wants to comfort her in some way but she's far too awkward to do that. "I was just heading out but nobody is in there now if you want to go sit with her for a moment. It's room 126 right through there" And now Camila feels bad because really, Lauren's mother looks exhausted.

How could she not be? Camila is sure that if she was suddenly in a coma her mother would have a stroke and end up in one herself. Especially knowing how it happened, Camila can't help but feel every ounce of sympathy go out to this poor woman in front of her.

"Yeah I think I will... does it matter how long I stay? Like visiting hours?" Camila questions in a small voice, eager to see Lauren but not wanting to stall her mother.

"They usually want people out by 8:00 but if you're quiet they might give you extra time, but it's only 6:00 now so I'm assuming you should be fine, just tell them Clara said you could stay if anyone questions you okay?" Camila nods and Mrs. Jauregui smiles before moving out of the doorway, "Well I'll leave you to it, talk to her as much as you'd like, they say it helps something with brain activity." and with a soft smile Mrs. Jauregui is walking down the hall, with one last glance at Camila as she exits via elevator.

Camila takes a deep breath before turning her attention back to the door awaiting her, glancing once down both sides of the corridor before stepping through the frame.

-

The first time Camila met Lauren was her first day of second grade. Camila was new, having just moved from Cuba to the area and shy and didn't speak english well enough to understand ninety percent of what was going on as her shy, seven year old self wandered aimlessly towards the room some tall lady with an ugly green skirt is leading her towards.

It's the first day, so there isn't any awkward introduction and young Camila is grateful for that considering she would be a stuttering blushing mess. She knows that it would be unrealistic for her to speak english at this point, but she can't help but be embarrassed by her lack of ability. 

That's why when boys tease her at recess she isn't quite shocked in any way. They take her lunch and keep calling her things which, although Camila can't really understand she knows they're not nice.

She still cries. Only a little bit and she waits until after lunch in the bathroom to do it.

That's when it happened. 

That brunette girl with the pretty eyes asked her a question with a concerned furrow of her eyebrows. Camila only teared up more not being able to answer the other girl and felt a warm hand on her shoulder before raising her blurry eyes to meet the other little girls before saying in a quiet voice "No hablo ingles...".

She expected the girl to get confused and leave. Or to say something mean or laugh and leave. Or to laugh awkwardly and leave because she doesn't understand the Cuban girl.

She certainly didn't expect, "ohhh umm... Yo hablo espanol, pero un poco porque no tengo muchos anos." and an adorable smile as the other girl did her best to speak spanish. 

(Sometimes Camila thinks she would have preferred if Lauren just made fun of her accent and walked away, maybe she wouldn't sit by her bedside daily in a crappy hospital chair and maybe she wouldn't be so painfully in love.)

Whenever Camila looks back on it she remembers how adorable little Lauren's efforts were. For that whole first week of school she had talked to Camila as much as she could, making jokes and telling secrets and for a moment Camila thought maybe the girl with the pretty eyes, Lauren, would be her first friend.

But when a boy teases Camila about her accent when she finally manages to ask to go to the bathroom in english the next week, Lauren doesn't meet her eyes as she giggles along with the rest of the kids.

That was the first time she met Luis.

-

Camila has never seen anyone in a coma or even unconscious. Unless you count television shows but Camila doesn't, not anymore. 

Television shows display it in a way as correct as they possibly can, but how are they supposed to show how drained a person looks without actually hurting them? 

Lauren looks pale, well she always is but this isn't her usual milky white, porcelain type of perfect skin, it's sickly pale, almost greenish and it makes Camila feel sick. Her eyes are closed but the bags around them are huge.

Camila knows how Lauren got hurt, everyone does, so really the stitches on her forehead and cast on her arm shouldn't be surprising at all to Camila but for some reason she really just thought it would be the normal Lauren lying here just with IVs and shit attached to her.

She doesn't really know what to do. There's a seat set up next to the bed, one of the comfy ones angled towards the teenage girl lying in bed and on the side of her good arm, hand on the edge of the bed for someone to hold. Camila assumes her mother previously occupied the seat.

She decides that's her best bet so she slowly moves toward the seat, eying the unconscious girl as she edges her way to the far side of the bed to sit next to Lauren cautiously, almost as if trying not to wake up a sleeping child. (She would laugh at the irony of not wanting to wake her up if Lauren Jauregui wasn't in a coma next to her).

She just sits for a while, not necessarily knowing what to do. Clara said to talk to Lauren as much as she wants but what do you talk to a girl in a coma about? More specifically what do you talk to Lauren Jauregui in a coma about? Camila had read somewhere that when people are unconscious they can sometimes hear and understand words, just not communicate themselves (it was actually fanfiction though so she doesn't think it's too trustworthy), but she still doesn't want to risk Lauren knowing everything she could say.

She eyes Lauren's hand. It's basically out for an invitation, anyone that could come to visit would probably hold it, and Camila thinks maybe she will. But then she remembers her and Lauren aren't close.

Not at all close. She's just the girl who sits in the back of Lauren's history class. 

So she doesn't take Lauren's hand, just a deep breath.

-

"Karla, how nice of you to show up today," Brad says as she rounds the hallway towards first period, running late because of her alarm and jogging slightly up until the boy abruptly cut her off. "Why are you so late anyways?" he asks, throwing an arm over her shoulder and pulling her towards the bathrooms. 

"Stay up all night watching lesbian porn probably," another voice cuts in and Camila feels herself cringe and her face start to redden. "You know how dykes are Bradley, always up to perverted shit, why can't people like you just get the hint that nobody, not boy or girl would ever want to date you." Luis says with a smirk on his face, and as intimidated as Camila always is around them, she can't help but note how awful the insults are. 

And no she wasn't watching lesbian porn, she was talking to this dicks girlfriend while he was probably off fucking some random, not caring that Lauren's condition is yet to improve.

"Well, Cabello I think we have to teach you a lesson, what'd you think Luis, should we take her to the boys room and show her what she's missing out on?" Brad smirks and Camila feels nauseous at the implication but Luis groans before Brad can push her through the door. 

"Christ's sake Bradley don't say stuff like that it's fucked up especially at school dude we could get like expelled or some shit." he complains and Camila has to hold in a chuckle at their lack of intimidation at thi spoint, almost as if they've broken character completely.

"I know I swear but like, I'm running low on ideas and that just popped into my mind, it's not my fault Karla is so boring." Brad says and although she's insulted by him calling her boring, Camila can't hold in a laugh at how stupid they seem, their attention turned from her to argue with each other over how to bully her? That's not usually how it's done. Camila argues that usually it's not just these two so maybe they're just the dumb ones. 

"Something funny, bitch?" Luis snarls from next to her, turning his attention back to her from Brad and she quickly regrets forgetting the situation she is in.

"Umm no I just um- I was just..." she stutters out, nervous over 

"Hey! What are you kids doing out here get to class." A teacher Camila recognizes as one of the chemistry teachers cuts her off and she takes the interruption to run from Brad's arm and make a dash to her class. 

She slides into her seat in calculus and is glad that her teacher spares her a lecture on being late, just asks for her homework from the night before. 

Ms. Lovato had been the only teacher to actually acknowledge the fact that Camila is bullied. It's been going on for years now and that fact makes Camila wonder if all public school teachers besides her are such douchebags. It wasn't like her bullies even tried to be subtle, like a few moments ago. Any good teacher would ask Camila if she was okay after seeing Brad and Luis manhandling her and yelling, but the chemistry teacher didn't bother to even come close enough to scold anyone and if Camila hadn't been quick on her feet she'd probably have her face in a toilet right now or worse. 

Ms. Lovato didn't like to embarrass her, meaning as soon as class was done she would ask Camila to see her at lunch, claiming it was to talk about why she was late, which was true, but also just because Ms. Lovato knew Camila didn't have anyone to sit with. 

This had been going on for two years now, having had Ms. Lovato for pre-calculus as well and Camila can honestly say with only a little shame that her math teacher is her best friend. 

She spends most of math thinking bout Lauren. About how she managed to stay until 8:30 before one of the nurses said they had to clean the room up for visitors the next morning. She had lost track of time her her defence, once she finally started talking to Lauren she wasn't quite sure how to stop and before she knew it it had been two and a half hours.

She takes notes but he mind is just on the green eyed girl who's life is on pause. Lauren would never be unfocused in a math class, Camila knows that much about the other girl. The raven haired girl was the first in their class, well before the accident, she would probably bump down after since she's missing a lot. She was pretty, popular, and apparently smart enough to be a possible valedictorian. Camila hoped she was able to keep that title when she woke up.

She thinks of Lauren until the bell rings really, just everything she told the girl yesterday and how even though it was a thirty minute ride back to her house she didn't care that it was later than she should have had to do homework. 

"Ms. Cabello, see me in your lunch period to discuss the homework review you missed." right on cue.

-

"I've never really done anything like this so I don't know where to start..." Camila runs a nervous hand through her hair. "Hi Lauren, it's Camila, Cabello? We have history together, I don't know if you even know who I am really but umm... I wanted to come see you." Camila says firmly, not knowing where to go with this.

For the past four years of highschool Camila had been used to being an outcast, ignored by most, harassed by others, but Lauren was always different. She wasn't friends with her at all, but Lauren always smiled at her or waved to her in the hall when they passed each other. The one time Lauren had caught her "friends" giving Camila a hard time she had yelled at them and made sure the other girl was okay.

So even though they weren't close, Lauren was kind of all Camila had at that hell hole of a school other than her math teacher. 

"It was rainy out today. Not a bad type, just cloudy and occasionally drizzling." Camila says after another round of silence. "I don't know why I'm telling you that, it's not like you can go outside. Fuck Lauren I know we aren't like friends or anything but I'm so so sorry this happened to you." Camila mutters, burying her face in her hands. "I wish I could do something, or could have done something to help but I can't.

"I guess I don't really know what to talk to you about..." Camila says quietly after another bout of silence in the chilled room. "Your boyfriend is a dick by the way in case you can hear me, so is that Alexa girl you hangout with." she adds, trying to think of somewhere to begin.

Camila sits there quietly for about a half hour. Not knowing what to say in the slightest but knowing she wants to in some way be with the older girl, even if she doesn't recognize that she is and probably never will.

-

"Camila?" a voice whispers from the seat behind her, "pssst Camz," it continues and Camila is officially broken from her usual english class daze. 

She jolts in her seat when she places the voice and turns to see Lauren looking at her from the desk behind her's.

"Hey Lauren what's up?" Camila asks back, knowing Lauren doesn't talk to her normally unless there's a specific reason.

"Will you be my partner for that? It's just that Brad is an idiot and I know it's your favorite book, mine too so I figured we would make a good team?" Lauren asks, nodding towards the board which holds an assignment Camila had zoned out for before scooting her desk closer to Camila's chair.

Lauren knows that that is Camila's favorite book because of her tumblr and Camila already knew it was Lauren's for the same reason. Normally, Camila would never give her tumblr to someone from school since she wasn't out before and it holds a lot of personal information, but Lauren has followed her since ninth grade when the older girl randomly told her to follow her back and Camila placed the artsy blog that had followed her the day before as Lauren.

Lauren also knows Camila is gay because of her tumblr, and she knows about the girls constant struggles with anxiety, and she knows about the girls issues at home with her parents fighting. But Lauren's never brought any of it up and Camila isn't teased about it so she assumes Lauren is keeping her secret. 

Well obviously she gets bullied for the gay thing but Lauren never outed her and Lauren herself is bi, everyone knows since she previously dated one of her friends Lucy who moved to California last year. Camila isn't sure why Lauren's friends have no problem with Lauren being bisexual but they hate Camila for being gay, she assumes it's just because they need an excuse to be mean to her.

Camila still isn't sure how Lauren found her tumblr and she isn't sure why the girl wanted to be mutuals considering none of Lauren's actual friends follow her or even know her account, but they are mutuals.

Lauren had reached out to her once through tumblr and only once.

It was the day Camila was outed by Alexa who had read Camila's texts from twitter friends when Camila left her phone in her gym locker with nothing to guard it. Camila was only a freshman and scared to death but she managed to not die.

The conversation with Lauren was short and to the point, mainly because Camila thought it was some sort of joke, but basically Lauren offered to be a crying shoulder if she needed one and Camila stupidly told her it was all fine and dandy and that she was fine with people knowing.

That was the day before the worst bullying started and is yet to end for Camila when it comes to Lauren's friend group.

Now, in their junior AP language composition class, Lauren offering to be her partner randomly and bringing up the fact that they know stuff about her? Camila's just gonna go with it.

"Yeah okay that sounds good, I wasn't paying attention so let me just read the prompt quickly..." Camila agrees with a smile and a voice that she hopes isn't too eager.

"Okay Camz, we can break it up and then just check up in study on friday before we present? I would say we can meet up but softball is kicking my ass lately so I don't have a good time to get together or anything," Lauren explains and Camila smiles back at her as she finishes the reading and spins her chair to lean on Lauren's desk and start.

The nickname thing started at some point and Camila doesn't know when because Lauren rarely talks to her in general, but she likes it a lot.

"Okay that's cool just give me your email or something so we can peer edit and stuff? Also let me know if you can't finish anything, I don't play a sport so if you need more time to rest I completely get that and I can do anything you don't feel up to." Camila says softly with a small smile that LAuren returns times ten.

"Aww Camzi, I'll be just fine, you worry about your portion and your drawings okay? I mean sure I play a sport but you put just as much work if not more into your art, I mean come on that stuff is amazing, you got good hands huh Cabello?" Lauren says with a small laugh and squeeze to Camila's hand that's on the desk and Camila feels like she might pass out or die or combust and maybe she kind of likes Lauren but come on she totally doesn't really. 

And when Lauren calls her Cabello it isn't full of hatred like when Brad or Alexa does it. It's full of something different, and Camila might like Lauren just a little.

-

"So today I got 100% on my calculus test. I know that's probably not something that most people would find exciting but I know you care a lot about grades and such so I figured I'd tell you at least."

Camila had been visiting for two weeks now and things were going pretty great. Well not really. Lauren wasn't making any positive progress, but on the bright side she also wasn't making any negative progress. In Camila's head that was a good thing. 

Also in Clara's head. Camila was yet to have a run in with anyone else in the family but she had seen Clara a few times. She had seen Lauren's sister once from a distance but didn't approach the girl, knowing she would probably just embarrass herself if she tried to say anything.

Camila's also gotten into the habit of bringing peonies every few days and replacing the dying ones in the vase before they can lose their glow, wanting Lauren;s room to be nice even if she isn't awake to appreciate it. 

"I was afraid I was gonna bomb that test since I'm spending all my free time with you instead of studying but hey, I guess you just bring out the smart in me," Camila says with a small laugh to herself. 

Things in school had been going pretty shitty other than her decent math grades.

Luis and his band of douchebags were in full swing, Camila having bruises on her arms from being tugger around and thrown into lockers to prove it. It wasn't because he was emotional over Lauren like some might think - some including the gym teacher who had used Luis's misfortunate accident as an excuse for him locking Camila in the boys locker room, claiming since she's a lesbian she shouldn't be allowed in the girl's one. You see he was actually just a huge dick. Lauren had been the only person to ever tell her idiot friends to leave Camila alone and even if it was just the few times she caught them teasing Camila, it made a bigger difference than you'd think. 

Now that Luis didn't need to worry about his girlfriend breaking up with him over it, he could bully her whenever he wanted.

He used to be much more cautious, knowing Lauren could walk around any corner at any time, but now he makes it his personal goal to publically humiliate her whenever possible. He even had Alexa pull the old stealing Camila's gym clothes when she showered, but luckily one of the girls in Camila's physics class, Normani, flipped claiming to be done with their petty shit and gave Camila he own change of clothes before chasing after Alexa. 

She isn't friends with Normani at all, but she does have at least one person smiling at her in the hall and semi looking out for her now that Lauren is gone and since the incident in gym Normani has stopped two more times, one that Brad was a second away from locking her in an empty math class after school and the other when Luis shoved her into a wall, pretending to trip.

"You know Normani, I think you guys play softball together or something but she's been helping me out with all the bullying lately... Kind of, I mean, she defends me and stuff but sometimes I still get shit, but it's the thought that counts and I'm pretty grateful she stepped in since you're not around anymore."

"You know Laur, I don't think you're going to be gone much longer." Camila states with a smile, looking at the older girls closed eyelids and taking a moment to examine her beauty. "All it takes is a little faith, trust and pixie dust, right?"

"Absolutely right." a voice breaks in and Camila jumps in her seat, placing a hand over her chest and letting out a little scream in shock. "Shit sorry I didn't mean to scare you please don't yell." the voice says and Camila looks up to see a boy around her age with brown hair and tanned skin looking at her nervously. "Seriously sorry about sneaking up on you, I just couldn't not answer a question when it was TinkerBell involved, you know?" he chuckles and takes a seat next to Camila and she laughs back despite her confusion.

"Oh it's fine, I just didn't know anyone was going to be here," Camila replies, looking back at the boy and trying to place how she knows him, after a moment realizing it's Lauren's little brother, recognizing him from her instagram and tumblr.

"I'm Chris, sorry to scare you again, I'll try not to do it again, and I can go if you needed alone time or something?" he questions and Camila shakes her head no immediately not wanting to keep her brother from visiting.

"Oh of course not, I'm Camila it's nice to meet you but I can take off if you wanted to-"

"No no it's fine, I haven't met you before have I?" he asks with furrowed brows and Camila wants to laugh at how similar him and Lauren look, "That's weird I know most of her friends..."

"Well I'm not really her friend, just in her history class..."

"Are you the girl my mom said visits every day?" he asks again and Camila feels her face flush at the question and he laughs before she can reply, getting an answer from her face. "Don't be embarrassed, it's cute, sweet really," he says with a grin and then turns to looks at Lauren.

"Well I'm just taking a wild guess, but I don't think she's keeping you occupied conversation wise? So, just to kill some time, tell me about yourself Camila?"

-

Camila is going to die. Right now, right here, she is going to die and nobody will even worry about her body.

Luis will probably find some stingy ditch to throw her in and Keana will pour the gasoline and Alexa will light the match and they'll laugh as her lifeless form burns and ow that hurt her head.

"Answer me when I'm talking to you bitch." Luis demands as he throws her against the wall, Camila letting out a whimper as her head slams back into the metal of the lockers.

"She can't focus on you Lu, probably cause you're a guy though so don't take it personal." Alexa snarls from where she's grinning as Luis grips Camila's arms so hard she's sure they've already bruised.

They've been getting worse and worse every year that she has known them. It started out with her ethnicity, teasing her about her accent and inability to speak english. In middle school it was endless shoves and jokes about hopping back over the border.

Once they finally ran low on jokes about that they got new dirt when Alexa outed her and since then things have gone from bad to a thousand times worse. 

"What should we do with her Lex? I mean usually I wouldn't hit a girl but she's basically a guy right? Since she like chicks and all?" he asks jokingly as he places a light smack on Camila's cheek, hard enough to sting but not hurt too much.

"What the fuck is this?" a voice yells from somewhere behind them and through all the panic Camila was feeling just a moment ago is replaced with relief when she turns her head to see Lauren glaring at her boyfriend and stomping over to them to pull him off of Camila.

"Luis how many fucking times do I have to tell you leave Camila alone!" Lauren shouts enraged as she pries Luis by his hair off of the shorter girl, catching her limp form in one arm as he's pushed away and her support gives out.

"Calm down Lo babe it's just some fun," Luis argues, running a hand along his head and grimacing at where Lauren had pinched him.

"Fun? You call this fucking fun?" Lauren yells at him, moving Camila Gently to lean back against the wall but not letting go of the girl's arm, eventually bringing it up to wrap around her shoulder and wrapping her own around Camila's waist in a protective manner. "You fucking hit her Luis! If that's your version of fun I can't believe I liked you for a minute!" Lauren snaps and Camila feels happy at the possibility of a break up but also fright. If she's the reason Lauren and him break up he'll torture her. Plus if he's not hiding from Lauren he'll have no reason to stop ever bullying her.  
"Lauren relax, it's just Cabello, it's not like it's actually hurting anyone." Alexa pipes up from where she's slouched against the wall.

"You know what, fuck you guys I'm done with whatever this is Luis I swear to god if you so much as lay a finger on her I'll-"

"What lay a finger on her yourself? I'm sure you;d both thoroughly enjoy that." Luis sneered from his place and before Camila can question what that's supposed to mean Lauren's hand collides with his face in a smack resonating through the empty school hall and Alexa is gasping as Luis groans in pain and reaches for his already red cheek.

"Fuck you," Lauren says again as she turns her attention to the shocked and scared girl next to her, "Come on Camz, let's get you cleaned up okay?"

And Caila just nods, ecstatic that Lauren helped her.

Anxious about what she has to face with Luis the next day.

And not at all surprised when there's snapchats from a party two days later of Lauren and Luis back together.

-

"I'm just going to come out and say it Lo. you're friends? They're all dicks."

"Chris you don't have to-" Caila gets out through giggles but the boy continues with a teasing grin.

"I swear Lauren all of them are just such bitches I will never understand how you've been friends with them for this long, especially since you're so great yourself," he grins and Camila lets out another loud laugh at his teasing tone. "I mean Alexa, can someone get worse than that girl? She's just so fake and so rude and I mean come one Lauren she's the most basic person I've ever met and you're you! How do you stand that?"

"Christopher Jauregui you're being rude!" Camila playfully scolds, ruffling the boy's hair but he just chuckles, batting her hand away before continuing.

"And don't even get me started on your douche of a boyfriend, like really Lo after going from Lucy I would say you completely downgraded like four million levels." Chris continued, laughing at his own insults as he referenced his sister's ex girlfriend who had moved to LA.

"I sincerely think he is the douchiest person to ever live Lo, like he basically ignores me and Taylor which come one Lauren what type of future spouse does that?" he chuckles and Camila lets out a laugh at how playful and innocent Chris is.

"And and and, he's mean to Camila. Now I don't know if you know Camila the way I know Camila but let me tell you sis," he states, pausing for emphasis and winking at his sister's sleeping form jokingly, "she is what I call wifey material and you need to totally reconsider every aspect of your life before you pick that Luiser over my girl Mila." he finishes with an obnoxious smile and Camila can't help but love his joking personality like she has since they became acquainted.

"Really Lauren she's a keeper, I can't wait to introduce you properly when you come back to us." he says genuine this time with a soft smile as he squeezes his sisters tired hand.

Camila had told Chris how she felt about Lauren on the third day they met up at the hospital. Well he kind of pried it out of her. He walked in the room with a smile as he dropped his volleyball bag in the ground near the door and plopped himself down in his usual seat. 

"So why are you always here before even I am, do you come right after school or something?" he asks as he props his foot up on his knee and studies the girl next to him.

"Yeah actually, I don't do much so I figure it's nice to give her as much company as I can you know?"

"Oh yeah, definitely, that's why I've been coming more lately. I used to come in the mornings because volleyball ran all day, but now that it's just training it's just an hour or two each day." he explains, eyes still reading Camila's face and the girl gets nervous until a kind smile makes its way onto Chris's face.

"So..." he begins and pauses to meet Camila's eyes, "How long have you been in love with my older sister?" 

Camila of course chokes on air and begins stuttering out some sort of denial but the smile doesn't leave his mouth or eyes as he waits for her to calm down and finally she sighs and leans back in her chair before meeting his gaze.

"Since the first day of second grade."

And that's when they started bonding. Not only out of love for the girl unconscious next to them, but also their mutual hatred for all of the people she chooses to surround herself with.

"I swear, if I told my mom half the shit Luis pulls Lauren would be banned from breathing the same air as him, let alone be allowed to date him." Chris laughs as he reaches for his Pepsi and chugs some before offering the bottle to Camila who takes a sip before passing it back.

"Maybe you should then, I mean, Lauren's only going to get hurt in the end it would be like looking out for her right?" Camila asks and Chris shrugs while playing with his sister's fingers. "Actually, she should be able to make decisions herself I guess I just wish she was smarter about her love life." Camila continued with a groan in frustration.

"Me too, but once she wakes up now you can help me talk her into better decisions, maybe she'll listen to both of us, I know she thinks you're smart so maybe she will." Chris shrugs and thought and Camila let's out a laugh.

"Why would she tell you I'm smart she barely notices me ever?" Camila giggles, finding it weird that he would say that.

"She has said that. I'm just assuming you're that girl she did english projects with or some shit? I'm not going to lie she doesn't bring you up a lot, but she does mention the cute smart girl in her history class every now and then, so maybe she wants to hit it," he winks and Camila laughs at his crass humor.

"Mila I'm going to head out now actually, I have a game tomorrow so I'm doing team bonding tonight but I'll see you sometime soon?" he asks as he stands and reaches for his jacket and she smiles before nodding.

"Good luck at your game hotshot, get me a point or whatever it is you do in that sports," she jokes and he laughs before waving, placing a kiss on Lauren's cold forehead and leaving.

"Well," Camila says after a moment, sitting in the seta he just abandoned since it's closer to Lauren. "Looks like it's just you and me again my love," Camila says quietly.

"Lauren?" Camila whispers, "I know you can't hear me, and I know I've mentioned it once or twice, but I really like you a lot..." Camila sighs, hesitantly reaching for the cool hand that she'd been afraid to hold up until this point a month into visiting. "Like umm... I know we don't talk a lot but I just like everything about you.

"Your smile is just so cute and your laugh makes me feel like I'm being punched in the heart but I never want it to stop, you know? And your soul is so pure and beautiful and considerate and I think I'd be dead by this point if it weren't for you Lauren Jauregui, and damn it don't even get me started on your eyes" Camila grins and places a soft kiss against the limp hand in hers. "And I may be very much  in love with you." she states firmly in a low voice.

"Don't worry, I don't expect you to say it back..." she jokes after a moment of quiet and cracks up at her own joke immediately before launching into a story about Ms. Lovato's new job offer.

-

Camila should be used to it by now. Lauren's eyes that is, she should be used to her eyes.

She doesn't think she ever will be if she's one hundred percent honest with herself. They're the most beautiful eyes she has ever seen in her whole entire lifetime for sure, even prettier than those edited ones all over tumblr.

She should also get used to the way Lauren's cheeks are always flushed in the winter since she is so pale and it is colder outside than usual.

She just has to get used to Lauren's beauty. Just how lively and sculpted and happy she always looks despite what she reblogged at three in the morning the night prior.

It's hard though. Camila only has Lauren in small segments of life.

For example, whenever Lauren and Camila pass each other in the hall and Lauren is without any of her idiotic friends, the older girl will wave and say "hey Camz," and Camila will swoon and try to not pass out before replying with a shy wave and "hi Lauren".

It's stupid she knows. Getting shy over Lauren saying hi to her in the hallway, but really Lauren is all the things in the world that Camila could ever begin to imagine herself wanting, no needing to be happy and content and Lauren isn't available to her ever. So that sneak peak? That little glimpse into what feeling the other girl's affection is like? That's something Camila can barely survive without stumbling over a reply.

Like in student council. Camila only goes to the meetings for Lauren and she couldn't admit that to herself until her junior year when they were beginning ideas for junior prom.

"Can we use peonies for the flower decorations? I know they're pricier but I've always loved them and had no reason to get any." Lauren says in the meeting as people spitball ideas.

Camila thinks that if she dated Lauren she would buy her peonies every damn day.

When they vote on flowers the next week Camila makes sure to raise her hand for peonies which made it's way to the final three options and she doesn't miss the grateful smile Lauren sends her and suddenly every student council meeting she's wasted her time going to is worth it because those eyes are focused on her and even if it's for just a single moment, it is a beautiful moment at that.

-

Camila has a shitty life. Simple as that.

So when she gets home to an empty house and a suspiciously quiet aura she should suspect the worst.

Except, except talking to Lauren? It has made her feel better. A whole hell of a lot better, even if Lauren isn't talking back. She's getting everything she needs to say out in the open and it feels fucking good even if nobody is really listening.

That's false hope though. Talking about her problems won't make them go away, and it doesn't. Not at all. 

Something does go away though.

The note on her kitchen table could be about anything. A grocery list, a note about how her parents are going to a party, a demand to pick up Sofi from her friends later. Anything.

So how did Camila know it was going to hurt?

She didn't know how much it was going to hurt but she knew it wasn't good.

Her mother is gone. Her mother is gone and she took her sister with her.  
Her mother is gone and she took her sister with her and they aren't coming back.

And it fucking hurts. Not enough to kill her but enough to make her feel like air is being sucked out of her lungs.

She doesn't know where her dad is. He could be at work still and oblivious to what's been left behind for him, or he could be passed out drunk in her parents - scratch that his bedroom. 

But her mother took Sofi and not her. That hurts too.

And Camila has to leave immediately.

-

Camila goes to the only place she can think of, Lauren's hospital room. Room 126, second floor of that shit hole of a hospital. It's not the room she takes comfort in it's Lauren, obviously. Because even though her hand isn't as warm as Camila imagines it would be if she were awake, and even though it's basically been Camila talking to herself for months, she still cares about Lauren. A lot. 

Now that she's come to terms with the crush she has had on her for most of her life, going to visit the other girl is all she can think of to comfort herself. Especially with the news that Ms. Lovato is transferring to a private school a few towns over.

So she gets on her stupid old bike and pedals as fast as her pathetically scrawny legs will allow her. It takes a while, she usually had her mother's car to drive up since usually her mother was at home reading or watching a news station. 

She thinks about why her mother's car wasn't in the driveway anymore as she pushes the heavy hospital door open. That thought makes Camila feel nauseous though so she pushes it out of her head and instead thinks of Lauren.

As Camila approaches the elevator that she first entered over a month ago shaking with nerves, she thinks about the first time she heard her angel speak, the concern in those bright green eyes that Camila would do anything for the chance to see again. 

She doesn't think about the giggles Lauren let out when Luis teased her the next week.

When Camila presses the button for the second floor and waits as nurses hold the door for their friends, she thinks about the time Lauren volunteered to be her partner since nobody else would and she thinks about the way she also volunteered to do most of the reading for the presentation because she knows about Camila's anxiety. 

She doesn't think about how Lauren paired up with Bradley the next time.

As she waits for the slow machine to finally pick up pace and take her up to see her sleeping beauty, she thinks about the time Lauren smacked her own boyfriend as hard as she could because he was pushing Camila up against a locker and whispering words to put the small girl in tears. 

She doesn't think about how they got back together after only a few days of Lauren pouting about him being rude.

As she walks down the familiar gross corridor towards the room she thinks about the way Lauren said her name in their few encounters and the smile and blush on Lauren's face every time she waved to her in the hall.

She doesn't think about the fact that Lauren would only wave when she was alone.

And when Camila turns to enter the room she's grown to love more by the day, she thinks about how beautiful Lauren looked even when she was all but lifeless in that bed and how her hand felt in Camila's own.

She tries not to think about how the room is empty save for a nurse cleaning up the bed her princess rested on the previous day.

Tries is the key word in that because as soon as she sees the cleaning cart in entrance she feels like something isn't right and as soon as she sees the empty bed she feels everything in her body collapse and then she's sitting on the ground outside the room clutching onto her knees and trying not to cry over the girl in her history class.

She succeeds in not crying, her eyes are blurry but she's having a hard time processing anything, just holding herself and willing her mind to wake up from this nightmare.

Of course she doesn't wake up because this isn't a nightmare, it's real life.

"Camila?" 

She looks up and is shocked to see a smiling Christopher Jauregui. He could be her friend, maybe he would be her knight in shining armor (in the platonic way) to pull her out from this tragic day but then she remembers it's his sister and also that Lauren actually loved him back so she knows he needs support more than her. But why is he smiling?

"Camila? What are you doing on the ground? Why aren't you..." he cuts himself off and trails in his thoughts before a hand shoots to cover his mouth and his face portrays all the worry Camila felt when she saw a note on her kitchen table. "Fuck Mila, she's okay, Lauren is fine, better than fine actually." He says, sitting himself down next to her and wrapping an arm around her shoulder in a side hug. 

"She woke up, she's awake, alive again and she had to be moved out of the coma wing this morning so she could be treated properly for recovery." He explains and Camila feels a grin almost as big as the Jauregui boy's take over her face at the fact.

"Lauren's okay? Really she's better?" She says and after weeks of coming here she feels like maybe this is a dream, so used to Lauren not making any progress health wise. 

"Yeah apparently at like around 10:30 last night she started waking up and I don't know she just somehow bounced into consciousness. She's already talking and there isn't any brain damage, some of the nurses are calling it a miracle. I just call it a little bit of faith trust and pixie dust," he jokes, teasing Camila for their first encounter.

"I can't believe it... That's such great news Chris I'm really happy for you and your family and her of course but I know you guys were going through a lot." Camila gushes and as much as she would love to see Lauren alive and well, she wants to make sure her new and only friend is doing alright.

"Yeah we're all thrilled, you should've heard my mother when she got the call last night, old lady has been here since midnight," he laughs, running a hand through his messy hair. Based on the messy hair and tired eyes, Camila is certain Chris has been here all night too. He would never admit it, but the sixteen year old is an amazing brother to Lauren and he's probably been just as, if not more worried than everyone else in his family, here almost as much as Camila and usually with her since they started talking more. 

Camila still doesn't know Clara too well but she knows the lady is as loving as a mother can be and she feels so unbelievably happy that the poor woman can finally feel safe and content with her daughter by her side again.

"So anyways though, I'm happy for you too, I know she means alot to you and I know you're shy but come on Mila, I know my sister and I know she'd love you if you let her have a chance okay? She's up on the third floor now in recovery, I just came by to check for my mom's jacket from earlier but she'd probably be thrilled to have visitors." Chris chuckles as he stands up, reaching his hand to help pull Camila from the gorun, "Good thing I came down too, god knows how awful you must've felt when you were greeted with an empty door, I would've had a fucking heart attack at the sight," he says as he runs into the room to grab a coat quickly before jogging back out and grabbing Camila's hand to tug her towards the elevator. 

"Come on, I'll say you're with me so they'll let you in but my mom knows you so it shouldn't be a problem." Chris says with a smile as he pushes the button. 

They're silent on the way up, both grinning, still holding hands tightly in excitement but also nervousness and Camila feels a hundred things at once.

Of course she wants to talk to Lauren, real Lauren. But this is also terrifying. It's not like Lauren knows Camila at all, won't it seem weird for Lauren if a stranger is visiting her straight out of her coma?

"Come on it's only right down this hall," Chris says with a reassuring smile and a tug on Camila's hand before locking their arms and forcing her to skip and she giggles at the younger boys childish excitement for the situation. "Riiigggghhht here." he says as they approach a door in the end of the hallway, isolated from the other rooms.

She hesitates there. He senses her anxiousness and doesn't push but stands with her, just out of sight from the door and listening.

Camila thinks about how much her life could change if she just handles this one situation correctly.

She could get friends, even if it's just one it'll be one that counts.

She could see Lauren's brilliantly green eyes.

She could hear Lauren's voice saying her name, probably in a confused little rasp but Camila wouldn't mind how it's said, just that it is.

She could get the girl of her dreams to give her a chance.

And, she could let that girl have a chance herself.

All it took was the right words at the right moment, and for a split second, with Lauren's brother on her arm and the love of her life less than twenty steps away from her, she thought she could do it.

"Lo we missed you so much!"

But that's Alexa's voice.

Which means she can't do it, she can't do anything.

Chris notices the second Camila does and he wants to cry at the way his new friends happy face completely drops. He knows how nervous she was, he knows how determined she was, he knows how much this girl cares about his sister, and now he knows there is no way to get Camila into the hospital room. And he doesn't blame her.

Camila can't help herself from taking a step closer and when she does it feels like every bone in her body is breaking at the same time and hey, maybe something will go wrong and Camila will fall into a coma and hey, maybe Lauren Jauregui will visit her every dying day with flowers and a plate of feelings to serve. 

Or maybe Camila will lie in bed for months alone then die before she gets a single dandy lion.

She can see into the room now. Lauren can't see her from this angle but she has a clear view of the raven haired girl. Not that Lauren would notice her if she could see her.

Alexa is the first person, the loudest one, perched on Lauren's beside rambling on about all that the other girl missed.

Keana and Brad are occupying the two seats for patients and adding comments to the flow of the conversation every now and then, smiling and laughing with their attention focused on their old friend.

These friends, these enemies, these classmates, Camila can only see the betrayal they committed while Lauren was under. 

Hell Camila witnessed Alexa getting intimate with Lauren's boyfriend not weeks after he got her into this mess, but the whore feels the right to sit there ranting about how much she missed "her Lauren".

Camila's peonies are on the table behind them all but that doesn't seem to matter.

That's not the worst part.

Luis is sat in Lauren's bed with her, arms wrapping around her and hands gripping Lauren's.

As she feels the first tear fall down her face Camila thinks about Lauren's hand in her own. 

She thinks about how Lauren felt limp and cold, lifeless almost. 

She thinks about how warm it must feel right now, how soft her skin must be and how tight she is gripping her boyfriend's hand back.

Camila wonders what he did to deserve the warmth and what she did to deserve something so cold and lifeless that part of her died while clenching onto it. 

Then Camila remembers that Luis is Lauren's boyfriend. He has been for a long time and will continue to be because nobody is going to rat him out, and if they do he can blame it on how distressed he was with Lauren's condition.

He was holding her hand because Lauren loved him. 

Camila is just the girl in her history class. And even if she is the "cute, smart" girl in her history class, she's still a nameless figure to Lauren. 

And as much as she wants to feel that warmth holding onto her dry cold hands, she knows that she won't, not right now, and probably not ever based on the picture in front of her.

"Camila..." and Chris's hand is warm but nowhere near as warm Lauren's eyes are. Nowhere near as comforting either, so Camila doesn't want to talk to him about it like she is sure he is about to suggest, she wants to leave.

"I think I'm going to go." she says. 

It ends up being as simple as that too.

Chris knows why she's leaving and Chris knows there's nothing he can say to convince her coming in the room is a good idea, hell it isn't a good idea and he'd be an idiot to think it is.

"You go enjoy time with your sister, I know you've missed her Christopher, don't miss out on account of little old me." she smiles, tries to at least but with tears rolling down her face slowly it isn't too convincing.

"Mila I'm so sorry I didn't know they were here. I can stay with you if-"

"No, absolutely not, go spend time with her okay? For me? I shouldn't have come today anyways." and he nods. Simple as that.

Camila stands off to the side as he enters the room. Wanting to leave but not knowing how once she's come so far.

"Chris! Where have you been my friends all got here like twenty minutes ago what took you so long with mom's coat?" and Camila recognizes Lauren's voice, and although it isn't saying Camila's name, it is confused and raspy and perfect and Camila falls in love with every word and that's enough for her.

"Oh I umm... I saw one of your old nurses, she was with you every day and she wanted me to tell you congrats..." he explains and although Camila stopped watching she knows he's running a hand through his hair, "She can't visit herself because of other patients but she wanted me to tell you I guess." he trails off and Camila can hear the smile in his voice.

She leaves before she hears the angel speak again.

As she walks down the unfamiliar still gross corridor towards the elevator, she thinks about the way Lauren said her name in their few encounters and the smile and blush on Lauren's face every time she waved to her in the hall.

And as she waits by the elevator for it to slowly make its way to Lauren's new floor, she thinks about the time Lauren smacked her own boyfriend as hard as she could because he was pushing Camila up against a locker and giving her a hard time.

And when Camila presses the button for the lobby and waits for the machine to slowly make its way down, she thinks about the time Lauren volunteered to be her partner since nobody else would and she thinks about the way she also volunteered to do most of the reading for the presentation because she knows about Camila's anxiety. 

And as Camila approaches the exit that she first entered over a month ago shaking with nerves, she thinks about the first time she heard her angel speak, the concern in those bright green eyes that Camila would do anything for the chance to see again. 

She doesn't think about how in love with Lauren Jauregui she is. 

That would hurt too much.


	2. part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case it isn't obvious I don't proof read so my bad for any mistakes but thank you to all who commented on part 1! This one is shorter but hope you enjoyed it!!   
> Check out my other work if you're interested!

Her mother still isn’t home when Camila finally makes her way back to her broken home. Alejandro is somewhere in the house, she knows because his car is in the driveway but she figures he’s locked up in his room so she just goes to her own to curl up in her blankets and denial.

She knows it’s her own fault. She shouldn’t have allowed her hopes to get up.

Honestly Camila never thought about what she was going to do when Lauren finally woke up or passed away and although she’s glad, no ecstatic that Lauren is better, seeing her in the halls every day is going to break Camila’s heart.

Camila could easily tell Lauren, but what she would tell her Camila doesn’t know. Hey I visited you in the hospital every single day for over a month even though we’re not friends and your awful friends were to busy cheating on you and partying to visit you more once? That doesn’t sound like a good idea in the slightest.

She knows Chris isn’t going to tell Lauren anything either. Camila doesn’t know whether to be happy about that or disappointed. Maybe it would be easier if he said something and Lauren approached her, kind of like they would make the decision for her and Camila is better without the stress of deciding.

All Camila knows is that she’s in love with Lauren Jauregui and Lauren Jauregui doesn’t spare her a second thought.

Camila thinks about it a lot that night.

-

The bullying continues, the next day Luis talks about how Lauren is coming back soon so he has to get as much in before the girl returns to school to stop him.

Camila feels nauseous over the fact that instead of hoping for a fast recovery he’s treasuring the fact that she’s gone and that sadness over how Lauren deserves so much better hurts more than her head when it slams into the locker he shoves her into.

Normani isn’t around as much, but that isn’t the other girl’s fault, she’s just busy because late february is when softball training begins for their school. Camila isn’t upset about that.

She is upset when she’s introduced to her new calculus teacher Mr. Thomson who looks a few years past retirement and calls her Camilla, which becomes Keana’s new name for her after hearing it from him.

She sits in the library now for lunch and that’s actually fine because LAuren’s friends are yet to find her there and it’s pretty quiet during lunch so she can get her homework done. Only now that Lauren is awake, Camila has nothing to do after school so maybe she should save her homework for later that night?

She’s bored and lonely and bored and bullied and lonely and bored.

Chris texts her every now and then, updates on Lauren, asking how Camila is doing, they get lunch later that week, but Chris’s attempts to convince Camila to visit don’t work whatsoever.

Before she knows it two weeks pass without any communication with Lauren but the older girl still consumes her every thought.

“Cabello I need advice.” Luis says as he places his hand too low on her back and shoves her forward roughly to walk with him in the hall, chuckling lightly at the way she tenses at his touch. “I was supposed to go visit Lauren today and get homework done, but then I got an invite to this party outside of town and though hmm, my little lesbian buddy is smart right? Surely she can do it for me,” he stops and leans her against the wall before shooting daggers into her eyes.

And Camila obviously has to say yes to doing his homework, but there’s another thought.

The main reason she’s been avoiding Lauren is because her friends have been there. Also because she has no clue what to say to her, but honestly maybe this is a sign that she should just wing it, right?

“Fine Luis I can do it,” she says quietly and he smiles, pats her cheek and shoves his math homework towards her.

“Greatly appreciated.”

-

She's going to do it.

She's going to visit Lauren if it kills her.

She texted Chris as soon as she got home from school to see if the family would be in today because maybe then she wouldn't go, but apparently Taylor has a presentation so they're all out today and the boy was beyond thrilled to see Camila considering it.

She wishes she could talk herself out of it but there's such an open door that Camila can't not visit Lauren. Especially since her visiting Lauren started out as her not wanting Lauren to be alone, so this is just the same thing.

Her dad is nowhere to be seen but Camila is already used to that so she doesn't mind pacing alone and makes a quick sandwich before going out to her bike and making her way towards the route she hasn't taken in weeks.

She stops at the flower shop and buys the familiar peonies, smiling at the woman who has sold her them every time who says hello because she recognizes Camila.

She pedals slower when she gets closer to the familiar streets surrounding the hospital.

It takes her a while to finally work up the nerve to walk from her bikes parking spot to the entrance and even longer to stroll to the elevator.

She almost hits level two by nature but she remembers which room on the third floor is.

She approaches the room even slower than the elevator and she can feel her heart beating by how nervous she is. 

“Oh Camila dear hello, how've you been?” Clara says from beside the bed as Camila slowly walks in, holding her flowers out in front of her nervously as she avoids Lauren's questioning look for as long as she can.

“Mrs. Jauregui, hi, I didn't mean to interrupt Chris said nobody was-”

“Oh nonsense I'm on my way out, Lauren just wanted some food that wasn't hospital provided, I'll leave you girls too it.”

When Clara walks out the door, waving goodbye to both girls Camila smiles until she realizes this leaves her to face her fears.

“Camila? Hey I didn't expect to see anyone today, what brings you here?” Lauren says, with a confused tone but still politely.

“Oh umm yeah I heard Luis saying he couldn't make it today and so figured you might be bored?” Camila answers quietly as she eyes Lauren nervously, relief flooding her head when Lauren just smiles and gestures for the chair before noticing the peonies. “I got you peonies I know they're your favorite…” Camila trails off, smacking herself internally for mentioning that she knows that.

“Oh you didn't have to do that, thank you Camz, I love them!” Lauren exclaims. “You can put them by the others but in front so I can look at them when you leave.” And Camila smiles before doing as Lauren said.

“So Camz how've you been? Catch me up on your life since I've been gone.” Lauren smiles as Camila sits and the younger girl smiles back, half because Lauren's eyes are as beautiful as she remembered and half because of the irony of Camila having told Lauren every single thing this past months.

All and all she feels is happy because talking to Lauren was easier than she thought it could ever be.

And Lauren didn't point out how out of place Camila of all people visiting is.

Camila missed her, even if Lauren didn't miss her back.

-

They talked for a few hours but eventually Camila left to let Lauren rest, with a smile and an invite to come visit the next day.

Camila tried to ignore the fact that it was probably only because Lauren knew Luis and Alexa had other plans.

But you see, Camila had made one fatal mistake.

She brought peonies when she visited. The same string tied around them because she only knows one open floral shop in february and it’s on her route to the hospital. That’s strike one.

Camila doesn’t overthink it at all, it’s habitual by now that when she drives, or rides a bike unfortunately since her mom’s car is yet to pull back into the driveway, she stops to pick up the pink flowers that she knows Lauren loves.

She vaguely notices her mistake when she first enters Lauren’s room hesitantly. She sees the withered peonies that are Camila had sent the prior week, but Camila is too nervous about Lauren to notice them. (She also notices that they’re the only peonies there so clearly Luis and Lauren’s friends don’t pay enough attention to deliver).

Or two fatal mistakes.

She says hi to Clara on her way in and Clara greets her by name. That’s strike two.

Strike three? Camila isn’t sure what that is exactly, but she knows it must’ve happened at some point.

Oh that’s right, walking in with Chris’s arm around her the next day like they’re old friends catching up, which they kind of are.

That’s on the next day she visits though, but by the questioning look on Lauren’s face Camila knows the older girl is reading into something.

“Camila, hey, I’m glad you decided to come today,” Lauren smiles at her as the younger girl takes her seat from the previous day. “I was hoping I’d have some good company.” she winks and Camila feels her face flush as she smiles back.

“Oh thanks Lauren what am I chopped liver?” Chris interrupts before Camila can speak and both girls laugh at his teasing question as the younger boy plops down on the side of Lauren, pulling her into a side hug that she jokingly shrugs away from.

“No Christopher you’re more like a puppy, entertaining and adorable but once you start petting it it just won’t leave you alone than you feel obligated to - Ow! Chris you dick my arm is still broken!” Lauren yells at him, laughing lightly and Camila smiles at the playful banter.

She’s really happy seeing them interacting, especially after seeing Chris hold that lifeless hand and tell his unconscious older sister all about his volleyball championship and how he really wishes she could’ve been there for it.

“Really tough Chris you know I love you, but you’ve been here all day and I know you’re leaving in a few for practice.” Lauren says with a shove to his shoulder, looking back over at Camila who is smiling on at the siblings interaction.

“Damn you’re right I spaced that…” he says, pausing to look at his phone for the time before hopping up out of the bed. “Bye Lo, bye Mila, dont’ have too much fun without me,” he winks and places a kiss on the top of each girls head before leaving.

“He really missed you you know?” Camila says before he can filter her thoughts, still smiling brightly at them. “I’m really happy for you guys, the rest of your family too, they must be so grateful that you’re okay.”   
“Yeah, they’ve been great since recovery started,” Lauren gushes with a smile as she carefully rolls onto her side to face Camila. “If you don’t mind me asking, how do you know my brother?” Lauren quirks an eyebrow and Camila flushes and stutters slightly with her jaw agape in panic as she tries to think of an excuse.

“Oh well I ended up at a volleyball game for some research paper thing in science on sports statistics and umm he was playing and we ran into each other in the hall and just got to talking…” Camila exhales and internally high fives herself for making a semi believable excuse. 

“Oh okay,” Lauren replies and furrows her brows again before making eye contact again, “Are you guys like dating or something?” Lauren questions and Camila chokes on her own laughter at the question and goes into what she’s sure are obnoxious hysterics, stopping only once she realizes Lauren isn’t laughing but looking at Camila confusedly.

“No, no god no we’re not.. Lauren I’m still super gay, you know that right?” Camila questions and fuck that was weird wording but why would Lauren think Camila is dating a boy, her brother of all people?

“Okay that’s what I thought I just didn’t want to assume things,” Lauren explains, a blush taking over her face as she giggles slightly at Camila’s word choice.

“No Laur really don’t get me wrong, Chris is a looker and he’s a great guy but I’m not a big fan of the whole guy part.” Camila chuckles and Lauren laughs at that before nodding in approval.

They don’t talk about anything important. Lauren asks about school and Camila tells her about how progressively annoying their teachers have gotten since Lauren left, and how much homework the girl will most likely have to make up - offering to help with any of it if she needs, and about Ms. Lovato getting a transfer which Lauren is equally upset about, apparently having had the teacher for pre calculus the year prior and loving her the whole time. 

Camila leaves out parts of bullying but she does mention that Normani has been looking out for her and Lauren seems to read between the lines and luckily not ask any questions, sensing Camila’s discomfort.

Camila ends up staying for two hours talking and joking with the girl she never even had the nerve to initiate a hello with.

Unfortunately time flies by and good things come to an abrupt end, especially when someone else enters the picture, or should she say room.

“Camila right?” and it’s Taylor, Lauren’s younger sister who Camila never really talked to but would occasionally wave to or nod in acknowledgement. Camila has no clue how Taylor knows her name but she assume Chris or Mrs. Jauregui.

Lauren’s dad walks in behind her with a bag from Panera and Camila looks at the clock and her eyes widen at the time, then she remembers nobody is home to prepare dinner for her so she’s not late to anything and she calms down. 

“Yeah hi, Taylor is it?” Camila smiles and Taylor nods with a grin as she sits in the other seat, “Oh you can take my seat I should be going I didn’t realize how late it was getting.” Camila says moving to stand up and then Lauren cuts in with confusion.

“Wait Tay, how do you know Camila?” and fuck hopefully Taylor doesn’t say too much but-

“Oh I don’t really, Chris was always the one here when she was visiti-”

“Taylor honey would you be a dear and go get some napkins from the nurses station? They didn’t put any in the bag,” Mr. Jauregui says, eyeing the younger daughter before nodding for her to leave and she does before shooting Camila a sympathetic look, leaving a confused Lauren and a slightly confused Camila.

“Camila? I can walk you out, Lauren you don’t touch this food until I’m back I don’t want you stealing it all.” he jokes and gestures for Camila to follow him.

“Sure…” she nods, still looking confused but accepting it and turning her head to Camila, “Bye Camz, maybe come by some time soon? You don’t have to but life gets boring when you’re in bed all day, surprisingly,” she chuckles and Camila grins back at her before nodding.

“Of course, I’ll see you soon, bye Lauren,” and with that she follows her dad into the hallway.

Camila isn’t quite sure why he had to walk her out but assumes her answers will be there when he turns to her with a grin.

“Sorry about Taylor almost blowing your cover back there, girl is too naive for her own good I swear,” he chuckles and Camila flushes a hundred shades of red before meeting his gentle eyes before he continues, “I wanted to say thank you, I know you don’t want her to know it was you, trust me Chris has you covered, but I really appreciate you looking out for my little girl like you have.” 

And Camila lets out a sigh of relief that apparently Chris has made sure her family isn’t going to rat her out. “No thank you necessary Mr. Jauregui, you’re daughter deserves more than she’s given by most,” Camila says with a smile, reaching to shake his hand and he laughs at that.

“Maybe you can convince her to ditch those ‘most’ you talk about,” giving her a knowing look when he says most, “And call me Mike, hopefully I’ll be seeing more of you? Not like you haven’t been here enough but I know my Lauren would love you to be here more often.” 

“Definitely, I’ll probably still be here every day of the week until she’s better now that I’ve worked up enough nerve to come back,” Camila grins and says goodbye to the nice man before turning on her heels and heading for the familiar elevator, suddenly more comforted in where she stands with Lauren.

-

“Cabello, where’s that money you owe me?” Alex snaps as she makes her way over to the smaller girl and slams her open locker, almost catching Camila’s fingers but luckily she pulls her hand away on time.

“Umm what money? I don’t think I owed you-”

“Well you do Karla so what do you have on you?” Alexa snarls as she pushes Camila up against the locker with one arm and leans her other hand on the metal next to Camila’s head. 

“I don’t have any cash on me I swear,” Camila says, anxiously begging for someone, anyone to stop this from leading to anything worse.

Since Lauren woke up things have went spectacularly downhill. You might think they would get better, since now the group of friends is in a better place apparently (although Camila is sure none of them really care) that they would take things easier on Camila. 

“Come on Camila we don’t have all day,” and now that Luis is leaning on the locker next to them, grabbing Camila’s arm to make her face him, she’s more scared again. “We need this money for movie tickets later and you pouting isn’t going to help.” he taunts and Camila feels like she might get hit again.

How can people walk by this in the hall and not do anything about it?

“Guys I don’t have any money on me…” Camila whines sa Alexa digs her elbow into Camila’s ribs making the girl inhale sharply in pain. She loses control of her mouth for a minute at the pain and blurts out what she’s been meaning to say for months, “Why don’t you spend money on flowers and go visit your girlfriend who just woke up from a coma that you put her in instead of fucking around with her best friend?” and maybe she is glad she said it, and maybe she isn’t but she doesn’t have time to think about it because Alexa knots a hand in her hair to hold her in place and then a fist is colliding with the left side of her face then she’s dropped onto the ground as they laugh above her.

“Don’t act like you know shit about that situation you dirty dyke, mind your own fucking business,” Luis flips and someone spits on her, not sure which one of the two, but she’s still on the ground as they walk away, she can hear their retreating steps.

She stays on the ground, clutching onto her eye and curling into herself. Nobody is left in the halls since the bell rung and she doesn’t know how she got lucky enough to avoid worse than that after what she let slip out.

But she lies there until she thinks she can move, crying silently at how awful everything in her life is going lately and then crying more when she thinks about how awful her life has gone entirely and not just lately.

“Camila?” and there’s a voice she doesn’t recognize and a touch on her shoulder she doesn;t recognize but she recognizes Normani’s face and she’s so so happy it isn’t Bradley or another one of Lauren’s friends to come make things worse. Camila looks up and almost throws herself onto Normani in relief but decides to just sniffle and wipe gently at her not aching eye to clear away tears.

“Fuck Camila what happened to your face?” Normani says with a gasp as she cups the side of Camila’s face gently to take a closer look. Camila likes that Normani sounds genuinely concerned and not just obligated to ask.

“Umm I just hit it on the locker, you know clumsy me…” Camila trails off trying to force a laugh out but the look Normani sobers her with shows that she no way believes this and Camila swallows before continuing, “Luis punched me.”

And Normani is terrifying at that point and Camila is hoping she isn’t going to take her rage out on Camila because god Normani is ripped with muscles and Camila is far from but Normani must notice that the younger girl’s eyes turn frightened because she places a gentle arm around Camila’s shoulder and smiles softly.

“Come on, let’s get you home yeah?”

-

Unknown Number : Hey this is Camila right? It’s Lauren, hope you don’t mind I asked Chris for your number but I was wondering if you were going to come by today at all? It’s fine if you can’t I’m just more bored than ever and I could use a friend.

Now Camila wasn’t going to go.

It has nothing to do with not wanting to seem desperately in love with Lauren by going every day. It probably should have had something to do with that and her pride but it doesn’t, not really.

It’s more the fact that since Normani dropped her and came in momentarily to help Camila clean the small line of blood from where Luis’s knuckle had hit (luckily the cut isn’t deep enough for stitches) her eye has turned basically blue and purple and it’s not something she can hide, and Lauren really doesn’t need to be told that her boyfriend hit Camila. So Camila had been hesitant to go, knowing an explanation would be needed.

Also she thought maybe Lauren’s parents would find out and make Lauren stop seeing him and then Lauren would hate Camila as much as Luis does.

So she wasn’t going to go today.

But Lauren asked for her number so Camila is on her bike and there are already peonies in her bag.

She is nervous as to what her explanation will be, but maybe she can just say long story and Lauren will forget it. Really, all Camila cares about is that Lauren Jauregui asked for her phone number and she called Camila a friend. She also said she needed a friend so she probably has important stuff to talk about anyways.

“Holy shit! What happened to you?” Chris exclaims as she pulls up to park her bike, the boy clearly heading out for the day. 

“Nothing I umm, I fell down the stairs and hit my head against the wall? I should probably get screened for a concussion,” She lies swiftly and he gives her the same look as Normani, but Chris with his messy hair and puppy dog face is far less intimidating so she just smiles and doesn’t crack like she did for the older girl.

“Fuck, that’s pretty bad…” he trails off, reaching his hand out to gently brush her hair back and examine the deep mark. “You sure it was a wall?” he asks, eyes filled with concern that reminds her of Lauren’s on the first day of second grade.

“Yup, no need to worry about me you got a game to win, let me know how you do okay?” she asks as she pulls him in for a small hug, happy to see someone who cares about her for a change. “Now I’m off to your sister’s room, good luck!” She says, pulling her bag around her shoulder and waving to Chris before making her way up the routine walk to Lauren’s room. 

She knocks on the half shut door before entering, the lights are off so maybe Lauren feel asleep before Camila could get there which the younger girl is fine with because that saves her from having to explain-  
“Come in,” well darn.

“Hey Lauren,” Camila starts nervously because really, there’s no way for Camila to hide this since Lauren bed is to her left and it’s the whole left side of her face that was affected by the hit.

“Camz? Come here right fucking now,” Lauren snaps after a moment and Camila finally turns to looks anxiously at the older girl and her face is blank as she stares at Camila’s bruised face.

Lauren doesn’t say anything. Camila slowly makes her way over to the side of the bed and Lauren grabs her hand t tug her onto the bed before Camila can sit in the guest seat, instead perched on Lauren’s side as the raven haired girl gently cups Camila’s face to examine the injury.

They’re both quiet, Camila with her eyes focused on the blue sheets and Lauren with her eyes focused on Camila.

Camila thinks about Lauren’s hands. They were so lifeless, so cold, so empty when she held them all those weeks ago, but right now?

They’re warmer than Camila could ever imagine and she has to bite her bottom lip to keep from smiling at the touch she feels like she’s been waiting her whole life for.

“Camila…” and Lauren voice is scratchy, rough, and it takes looking into Lauren’s beautiful green eyes for Camila to know that’s because she’s on the verge of tears. “You’re my nurse aren’t you?” Lauren says and Camila looks into her eyes with clear confusion making Lauren crack a small smile before continuing.

“That first night that I was awake, Chris disappeared for a while. I asked him where he was and he said he was talking to my old nurse since she couldn’t come see me anymore…” Lauren trails off and Camila feels her heart stop beating and the peonies fall out of her hand onto the bed between their legs.

“I asked him who sent me the peonies too, later that week and he told me that nurse did it. I just assumed it was a nurse at first but… but Taylor recognized you... and the ribbon on the peonies is the same… and my parents both accept you visiting with no issue despite supposedly not knowing you… and I heard Taylor asking Chris where that girl who always visited went… and I just, I don’t know I feel like you’re my nurse?” Lauren trails off, not sure at all if she’s right but needing to know.

Camila is speechless because damn it she really hoped Lauren would never find out she was a creepy stalker who camped out in her room every day until she woke up.

She could easily deny it. It’s obvious that Lauren is doubtful of her theory and really, why would Camila have been the person who visited Lauren daily?

She could laugh and say no, and that it must be her actual nurse. She could say so many things.

But she doesn’t want to see Lauren’s eyes grow any more disappointed than they have since Camila went silent so she says what her first instinct was.

“Yes,” and it’s out and Camila wishes she could take it back because she basically just admitted to stalking Lauren because obviously Taylor had more slip ups than Lauren led on but it’s worth it because Lauren’s eyes aren’t disappointed anymore. Slightly confused, slightly relieved, slightly something else, and Camila doesn’t know what to do so she just doesn’t move.

Lauren looks away from her eyes for a moment and Camila is scared.

She remembers that her mother is no longer living in her house and she remembers that her father no longer cooks her dinner.

She remembers that Lauren giggled when Luis made fun of her accent.

She remembers that although Normani helps her when she’s in trouble Camila still sits in the library during her lunch, not even with her math teacher who’s gone anymore.

She remembers that Bradley was Lauren’s partner for the power point on The Great Gatsby.

She remembers she’s in love with the girl with the green eyes and warm hands.

“I wanted to talk to someone today, mainly you but anyone would have worked…” Lauren begins and Camila looks back up to meet her eyes curiously, “Luis had to go to the ER cause somebody broke his nose.” 

Camila’s first thought is good the dick deserves worse. Her second thought is don’t smile Lauren is probably sad about it. Her third though it holy shit Normani must’ve-

“He told me someone punched him because he punched someone first… Tried to make it sound like a fair fight, even saying that even though he started it, they were talking trash about mine and his relationship?” and Camila gulps because technically that is true but Lauren still doesn’t know that he’s probably balls deep in her best friend right now.

“That was you too wasn’t it? That he punched? I know you wouldn;t have punched him back but I’m assuming Normani did?” at Camila’s nod Lauren grins. “I’ll have to thank hr for that.” And Camila is confused because wait is Lauren on her side? “And you said it because they’re sleeping together right? Luis and Alexa?” and okay maybe Lauren does know that. 

Lauren must read Camila’s wide eyes and the girl actually laughs softly and Camila is still sitting close enough to feel Lauren’s breath if she focuses. “Oh come on Camz, Chris wasn’t going to rat you out but he sure as fuck isn’t going to let someone cheat on me, plus I could tell by their matching hickies when they came by that first night.” Lauren jokes and Camila smiles too because not only does this mean Lauren is probably done with Luis but also because the fact that Lauren is laughing means she must to be hurting too bad and Camila doesn’t want Lauren to be hurting ever again after months of watching her in a coma.

“You were there that night too though… you were always there weren’t you?” Lauren asks and Camila just nods because she doesn’t know how to read Lauren’s tone right now and she doesn’t feel like getting smacked on the other side of her face for being weird.

There’s a moment of silence. A long one. Filled with tension and they’re both holding eye contact but neither of them are moving further or closer together and neither says anything for a stretched out moment.

“You know Camz, I still follow your tumblr and I’m really sorry about your family right now.. I know how much you care about your sister and if you ever need to talk about that I’m here for you.” Lauren says, gently rubbing her thumb along the arm she’s been holding to keep Camila from fleeing the room.

“I’ve spent the majority of my high school life wondering why someone as amazing as you has gotten such a cold life and if I wasn’t such a pussy about everything I could have been there for you a lot sooner. And I’m going to be here for you from now on.” Lauren says firmly and Camila makes move to protest.

“Lauren you’ve been the only person to talk to me for four years, I think you’ve already been there for me without knowing it.” Camila smiles, letting Lauren lock their fingers and beaming at the fact that Lauren just held her hand and it feels so fucking warm and Lauren is the one who picked up Camila’s hand for the first time and she knows she won’t forget what this feels like..

“Camz I may have said hi to you or made Luis stop picking on you a few times, but I still got back together with him. I still let you walk alone to classes and I still picked Brad over you far too many times in english class. 

“Camila I have left you high and dry for so long and now when I’m in the most fucked situation I could be in you’re the only person actually supporting me other than my blood family and I’m surprised it took me this long to realize how much you mean to me.” Lauren says quickly and blushes as she realizes she blurted that out, but continues with it since there isn’t any going back now. “I really really care about you and I have since I found out you speak Spanish in Ms. Kennedy’s second grade class and god I am so sorry that it’s taking me this long but i want to be something in your life, more than just that girl who sits behind you in history.”

And once again Camila’s heart stops beating because did the girl of her dreams just say that out loud or is Camila back in her dreams?

So Camila just stares at her because surely this isn’t real and surely Lauren isn’t looking at her for an answer right now looking as nervous as Camila was on that cold January day when she first stepped into this hospital with intentions of visiting her beautiful, so drop dead gorgeous green eyed girl.

“Please say something Camz.”

And Camila doesn’t say anything. 

She moves, to get a better angle of course, and she kisses Lauren with everything she has because she threw away any possible words she could use right now while waiting for the older girl to wake up.

And the best part is that Lauren kisses back.

And it’s so fucking warm that Camila doesn’t think she’ll ever feel the cold again.

**Author's Note:**

> So I wasn't sure whether to end on angst or make it a two shot? Let me know .
> 
> Thanks to anyone who reads and let me know what you think!!
> 
> Wattpad : longerr_hours  
> And check out my other stuff if you're interested


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